Title: FIGHTER PILOT'S DAUGHTER Author: Mary Lawlor Publisher: Rowman and Littlefield Pages: 323 Genre: Memoir
Fighter Pilot’s Daughter: Growing Up in the Sixties and the Cold War tells
the story of Mary Lawlor’s dramatic, roving life as a warrior’s child. A
family biography and a young woman’s vision of the Cold War, Fighter Pilot’s Daughter narrates
the more than many transfers the family made from Miami to California
to Germany as the Cold War demanded. Each chapter describes the workings
of this traveling household in a different place and time. The book’s
climax takes us to Paris in May ’68, where Mary—until recently a dutiful
military daughter—has joined the legendary student demonstrations
against among other things, the Vietnam War. Meanwhile her father is
flying missions out of Saigon for that very same war. Though they are on
opposite sides of the political divide, a surprising reconciliation
comes years later.
Mary Lawlor is author of Fighter Pilot’s Daughter (Rowman & Littlefield 2013, paper 2015), Public Native America (Rutgers Univ. Press 2006), and Recalling the Wild (Rutgers Univ. Press, 2000). Her short stories and essays have appeared in Big Bridge and Politics/Letters.
She studied the American University in Paris and earned a Ph.D. from
New York University. She divides her time between an old farmhouse in
Easton, Pennsylvania, and a cabin in the mountains of southern Spain.
Isabel Bliss is a reception class
teacher. She experiences other people’s emotions and can influence how
they feel but she doesn’t truly understand her gift and has been
encouraged, by her mum, to hide it from others. She often feels lost and
alone.
When a child in her class experiences
chronic distress that only she can perceive, Isabel uses her ability to
relieve his suffering, but his situation continues to worsen. Eventually
she is forced to take matters into her own hands, escorting him home
where she finds horrific signs of abuse. She saves his mum’s life and
his father is arrested for the brutal torture he has inflicted upon his
family.
A wealthy family moves to town and
Isabel meets the two sons. She recoils from Daniel, who is hateful, rude
and emotionally deficient but is inexorably drawn to Scott, who awakens
something magical, deep inside her. They are like her. They are fluencers and
have the ability to sense, read and willfully manipulate emotional
energies. Isabel confronts her mum and uncovers hurtful lies and deceit
within her own family.
She falls deeply in love and ultimately discovers the untold potential of her gift and the passion and power that dwells within.
The next few moments occurred
in painful slow motion. As I tugged my arm sharply out of Donna’s grasp,
I was jostled by a stranger on the other side. I felt myself falling
off balance and reached out to grab onto something, anything, to keep me
upright. The something that I grabbed onto was a jacket slung over an
arm and the owner of the jacket pulled back on it hard, tipping me
further off balance and sending me sprawling to the floor on my knees. I
let out a pained cry as my still bruised knee struck the hard floor.
I ended up on my knees in
front of a strong, long set of masculine legs in blue denim. I didn’t
know for certain to whom the legs belonged, but I could make an educated
guess from the pitch of the gasp and giggle from Donna and the
murmuring of the onlookers. I really didn’t want to look up, but I knew
that it was inevitable. I couldn’t stay on the floor forever. My knee
was painful, and I wasn’t even certain that I could get up by myself.
Slowly, grudgingly, I raised my eyes to find Daniel Callahan looking
down at me with distasteful recognition and an unpleasant, disdainful
smile. I looked him in the eye with as much dignity as I could muster.
He continued to stare rudely. He didn’t utter a word.
“Sorry,” I muttered, and my
hand flew to my mouth in instant regret. Had I seriously just apologised
to him, again, for falling over, again? I was a total idiot, and I was
more embarrassed than ever. What was it about this man that made me fall
at his feet and behave like a stuttering moron with an apology tic?
“It seems like you’re making a habit of falling on your knees in front of my brother. Here, let me help you.”
In an instant, everything
changed. My whole life turned upside down. Something inside me roared to
life and I suddenly felt different, stronger, more alive. It came from
the source of the humming, that place deep inside of me. Those simple
words, that simple offer of a hand to my feet, the smooth, velvety
voice. It was the sort of voice that could make a person weak at the
knees with its deep resonance and gentle tone, but it was so much more
than that. I didn’t just like the sound of his voice. Something about
the owner of that voice had just changed something fundamental about me,
and somehow I knew, in that fraction of a second, that nothing was ever
going to be the same again.
I wasn’t sure if I could
move or if I wanted to look into the face that belonged to those words,
that voice. I was frightened about what I might find and what it might
do to me, what I might become. However, I was still on the floor on my
knees, so I put my hand out, took his and let him pull me to my feet.
Our eyes met, and without
warning, a multitude of sensations overwhelmed me. I saw him, I felt
him, I sensed him. I experienced things that I couldn’t understand or
explain, but it was like a fire had been lit in my soul, like fireworks
exploding in the deepest recess of my mind. I couldn’t just feel his
emotions in the way that I normally do. This experience went further,
deeper. It felt like in that single second, he was actually inside my
mind, or I was inside his. I wasn’t sure whether it was one or the other
or if it were both. I couldn’t process what was happening to me. It was
happening too fast and exercising too many of my senses.
He looked at me with
bewitching eyes that reached into my very core. Eyes a deep, rich brown,
like swirling chocolate, shimmering with a layer of warmth. They
glistened with a flame that matched the fire that had ignited inside me,
as if his eyes understood and reflected the very essence of me. We saw
each other in a way that I had never known before, a way that I had
never even dreamed of, and as we looked into each other’s eyes, the
flames in his eyes grew larger, hotter. I took everything in, every
minute detail. The dark hair swept back from his face, the healthy tan
to his skin, the perfect line of his nose leading to full, rich lips
surrounded by laughter lines, indicating a happy man: a joyful,
confident, beautiful, magical creature.
The intensity of the moment
wasn’t limited to the visual. The way that he looked wasn’t what
captivated and thrilled my senses. When I sensed a person through their
emotions, I usually felt that they were happy or sad, angry or hurt, but
this was something new. This was a cacophony of feelings so loud that I
felt as if my head might burst with the joy of it. Emotions that lifted
me into the sky, swirling around me and through me — through my mind,
through my heart, through my body — until I felt dizzy with the power of
it. All that I could see were those eyes, those lips. All that I could
hear was that voice, and yet I could feel and see and hear everything
all at once, like I was awake for the first time in my life, like I had
found the answer to a question that I hadn’t known I’d been asking.
– Excerpted from The Essence of Bliss by Emily Astillberry, Blossom Spring Publishing, 2024. Reprinted with permission.
Emily Astillberry
is an author and RSPCA Inspector from Norfolk, England. She has a
degree in English Literature and Linguistics from York University and
has been investigating animal cruelty and neglect and rescuing sick and
injured animals for 20 years. In her day job, Emily deals with very
difficult and often emotional situations and meets all sorts of people
from all sorts of backgrounds. Her career provides some of the
inspiration for themes and characters that can be found in her fictional
work.
At home, in a very old cottage in the
country, Emily has a husband, 5 children, a dog, a cat, an axolotl, 2
giant African land snails and a varying number of rescue hens, so
finding time to write can be a challenge. She is happiest outdoors,
growing fruit and vegetables in the garden, walking the dog and family
holidays usually involve walking up mountains in summer, skiing down
them in winter and sleeping in a tent whenever possible.
Emily loves spending time with her
large, noisy, chaotic family, cooking meals for friends and playing
board games. She always has at least one book on the go and has always
dreamed of writing her own novel. She now dreams of writing more.
