Title:
The Bipolar Millionaire
Author: John E. Wade II
Publisher: Sunbury Press
Pages: 164
Genre: Memoir
Author: John E. Wade II
Publisher: Sunbury Press
Pages: 164
Genre: Memoir
John E. Wade II, retired CPA,
author, investor, television producer, and philanthropist, reveals in his
memoir, The Bipolar Millionaire, his personal struggle with bipolar
disorder and how he has succeeded in living a balanced and blessed life,
despite his mental illness.
Wade takes the reader through
his family experiences, political aspirations and beliefs, spiritual journey,
relationship trials and errors, all while battling mental illness.
Through his religious beliefs,
personal perseverance, and the help of friends, family, and his mental health
professionals, Wade lives an active, creative, and successful life.
His memoir doesn’t end with
contentment at achieving a balance in his life, however. Instead, Wade
expresses a determined vision for the future, aiming to assist humanity in what
he describes as achieving heaven on earth through his writing, political and
spiritual endeavors.
For More Information
- The Bipolar Millionaire is available at Amazon.
- Pick up your copy at Barnes & Noble.
- Pick up your copy at the Sunbury Press store.
- Discuss this book at PUYB Virtual Book Club at Goodreads.
I was struggling and dropped into a walk from the jog
required of fourth classmen. It was an autumn day in 1963, just a month after
I’d had a near-fatal attack of meningitis, and I was still fighting to regain
my strength. Panting for breath, I was confronted by a first classman. He asked
very directly why I wasn’t jogging. I quickly replied that I had a medical
excuse, knowing full well that the excuse had expired. He ordered me to produce
the excuse, which I did. Noting its date, he nonetheless allowed me to proceed.
Soon, I was
in the academy hospital, lying flat on my back in an almost catatonic state,
unable to cope with my mental torment. Although this severe depression, the
first in my life, was not diagnosed at the time, it must have been my first
bipolar episode, possibly having been triggered by the recent attack of
meningitis.
My mother
and Carol, my then-girlfriend, came to try to revive me, but I don’t remember
responding. Years later, Carol told me that I asked her to help me kill myself,
but I have absolutely no memory of making such a request.
Until this
illness I had been a model cadet. I had prepared physically according to
academy guidelines, so the transition to basic cadet summer was rigorous but
easier than it would have been without vigorous training.
One other
thing that helped me during basic cadet summer was the stream of daily letters
from Carol. My fellow cadets were jealous, partly because of the letters, but
also because of the picture of her I had in my room. Even though it was black
and white, it was clear that she had blond hair, a sweet smile, and a pleasing,
pretty face. That face helped me get through the rest of what we all had to
endure to complete our training.
Each week we were given certain “knowledge” to learn, such
as types of aircraft or chains of command. I always spent part of Sunday
afternoon memorizing the information so that I could recite it during Monday’s
meals. The upperclassmen pointedly asked several questions of each basic cadet,
which kept us from finishing our entire meal. The first classmen took turns
performing the interrogation, but as the questions were considerably shorter
than the answers, they always had plenty of time to eat. I always felt I was
short-changed because I was the only one who knew the trivia from the first day
it was due, and yet I didn’t get a chance to eat more than the other basic
cadets.
At the end of basic cadet summer, all the cadets were
subjected to a physical fitness test, and I scored the highest in my squadron.
At about the same time, we also went on a survival exercise in the mountains
for which we were organized into small groups with twenty-four hours’ worth of
food and about a week’s time to find our way back to the academy. The
experience was particularly taxing for me. I became so obsessed with saving my
food that I still had some left when we got back to the academy.
After the final tests, those of us who successfully
completed basic cadet summer became fourth classmen. My personal excitement was
not long lasting, however. Although I had scored high marks on the physical
tests, I was disappointed with my first academic grades, which included some
Bs, as I was used to all As in high school. When I asked a first classman for
his opinion, he said I did just fine considering that I came from a weak high
school.
Basic cadet
summer had ended—then the meningitis hit. I’ve since read that physical illness
can trigger the onset of bipolar disorder, and although the diagnosis was not
made at that time, I believe that is what had happened. My father eventually
was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder also, so it appears that I was
genetically predisposed to the condition, as is often the case.
I had
entered the academy in June 1963, and I received an honorable medical discharge
that December; whether I was right or wrong, I considered the situation a great
disgrace. It was definitely a life-defining event for me, and I was overcome
with depression.
But, there
was another aspect to my failure at the Air Force Academy that I didn’t
disclose to anyone else until years later: part of the reason I attended the
academy was that I had presidential ambitions, which I knew would be shattered
by the stigma of mental illness. I internalized and brooded over that stigma
for the next forty years.
To make matters even worse, when I finally got home I also
lost my girlfriend.
It was
quite a shock to me and had a negative effect on my confidence with the women I
would date for most of the rest of my life.
I have
often wondered what would have happened had I not had the meningitis and
bipolar episode. What aspects of my life would have been altered? It’s a
haunting possibility to consider.
Still, even
though the realization of some of my dreams has eluded me, I have had and am
having an interesting, fulfilling life in spite of bipolar disorder, and I
invite you to understand its role as I work toward what I believe is my
destiny.
No comments:
Post a Comment