Terese Luikens has been married for forty-four years to the same man, although she is on her third wedding ring, having lost one and worn out another. She lives in Sandpoint, Idaho, enjoys being mother to three grown sons and grandmother to her much-loved grandchildren. She is the author of A Heart’s Journey to Forgiveness, a Memoir of her inspiring journey of emotional healing from her father’s suicide. She facilitates retreats and workshops focusing on forgiveness, and publishes her own blog, Why Bother?
You can visit her website at www.tereseluikens.com.
Where did you grow up and tell us a little about your family?
I grew up in Lincoln, Nebraska as the sixth of seven kids. The first eight years of my life were idyllic because although the household was chaotic, Dad was readily present. He was the one who tucked us in at night, read us bedtime stories and whose lap I sat on for comfort. But the older I grew, the more I discovered about his drinking and his depression.
Did you ever have thoughts of running away?
I didn’t have any thoughts of running away, but in times of trouble I found quiet places where I could be alone such as in a neighborhood park or the public library.
What was your school life like?
We moved for the first time just after I finished the second grade. Then again after I started the sixth grade and yet again in the middle of seventh grade. With so many moves in such a short time, I didn’t get the opportunity to make friends or find success in the classroom. By the time I was in high school, I thought about dropping out of school and just working full-time. But, my mother said that I needed to graduate and I did. Later, when I went to college, I enjoyed academics because my life had finally settled down.
How did you get out of your situation?
My dad ended his life by suicide when I was thirteen. For the next ten years I learned ways to survive by not depending on anyone but myself. Living independently and not relying on anyone except for myself caused me to be very lonely and eventually led me to nearly ending my own life. But, I didn’t. If you read my book, then you will find out what happened next.
Did you ever learn how to trust again?
Trusting again was and is still sometimes difficult. But, without trusting others, relationships don’t happen.
Did God play a big part in your healing?
God did play a big part in my healing and God has stayed involved in my everyday life.
Looking back, was there anyone you could confide in?
Suicide is a tough topic to talk about. My mom was unable to help any of us through our grief because she became emotionally incapacitated after Dad’s death. Occasionally, I’d talk with my grandma who told me that someday I’d have to forgive my dad. At the time she said those words to me, they did not make much sense to my adolescent mind. It would be years later that those words came to my mind and I was able to forgive my dad.
What would you like to say to your readers and fans about your book?
Even if you’ve never experienced the suicide of a loved one, I think
you will be able to relate to the book on multiple levels; growing
through insecurities, marriage, raising kids and what it’s like to keep
walking by faith.
The sixth of seven children, Terese grew up in an unstable and chaotic household–invisible to her mom yet cherished by her father.
This heartfelt memoir documents the chain reaction of a tumultuous family history. From her stormy childhood to the far-reaching effects of her father’s suicide, Terese shares her inspiring journey to escape the shame of her past, find healing and live, learn to trust, and discover faith in a real and personal God.
A Heart’s Journey to Forgiveness is available at Amazon.
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